Apple's bruised and even the marketers can't hide it now
#287. A newspaper editor's story written 125 years ago reveals Apple's snake oil sales and offers billion-dollar warnings for news media about AI...
I’ve loved Apple for decades. I was a PC guy until the early 2000s, but the iMac flipped my loyalty, and I’ve spent $100,000 on Apple products since.
But the love affair is over because the world’s most innovative product company is failing to… erm, innovate on its products. And worse, it’s lying about them.
This week, a toxic crisis that I’ve been reporting on for years broke the surface, and even Apple’s famously airtight marketers couldn’t keep the stink out.
Apple chief Robby Walker called an internal all-hands to tell Siri staffers last week that its AI plans were in disarray and described it as “ugly and embarrassing”.
It was soon leaked. And that doesn’t happen at Apple, ever.
He said a competitive AI was still a year away and that Apple’s marketing had overstepped by making empty promises about Apple Intelligence.
He added that bosses right to the very top were now facing “intense personal accountability”. Heads may roll.
Apple has begun pulling showpiece ads that contain features that simply don’t exist, like this one with Game of Thrones star Bella Ramsay.
But most damning of all for CEO Tim Cook and his C-suite is that the mistakes were all avoidable, with $391 billion in annual cash flow and $64.5 billion in cash.
This is a story of a falling angel, and it might well spell time up for Cook, the man I dubbed Tin Man Tim a year ago for failing to keep up.
This is a redux of that post with an update, so I’m publishing it outside the paywall. Hope you enjoy it. Share with your friends.
But before we get there, welcome to new subs over Australian Grand Prix weekend from The Guardian, another editor from the UK’s largest publisher Reach, Sky News Australia, the subs desk at The Independent in the UK, the non-profit MinnPost in Minnesota, the leadership team of the Brisbane 2032 Olympics, data automation platform Kleene.ai in London, the C-suite at global agency group EssenceMediacom, ad tech leader Adbot in Cape Town, and some bank or other called JP Morgan…
And the legal eagles at mobile gamer Playrix. Check this out.
Penniless high school brothers teach themselves programming in 2004 and build shareware games from the family flat in Vologda, Russia, home of Ivan The Terrible.
Three years later, their PC games Fishdom, Gardenscapes, and Royal Envoy, go viral. Then in 2012, follow up Township becomes a megahit on Facebook, iOS and Android.
By 2019, the hard-up brothers are banking US$1.7 billion-a-year with 180 million monthly active players, and employing thousands across Ukraine, Belarus, Serbia and Armenia.
Two years later, it passes an $8 billion valuation, becoming the fourth largest mobile game maker in the world with revenues closing on $3 billion.
In March 2022, the Russian brothers donate $500,000 to the Ukrainian Red Cross to support people caught in the war, and another $200,000 to UNICEF to help kids there.
That’s innovation AND heart, which brings me back to Apple, which is missing both - landing it in a world of trouble.
Apple is bruised. The injury happened a long, long time ago, but it’s only coming to the surface now.
And the entire sorry saga can be told through newspaper editor L Frank Baum’s book The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, published 125 years ago this year…
As a newspaper editor, Baum was worried that technology was making promises it couldn’t keep, and that it left traditional industries and ordinary people behind.
His book was adapted into the famous 1939 film, which has become an icon of 20th Century cinema.
But what kids saw as relatable characters and a magical mystery wizard, hid far deeper meanings.
Wizard, scarecrow, lion, tinman, and Dorothy were all allegories for the corruption of wealth, technology, Government flat-footedness, and the exclusion of women.
The yellow brick road was a reference to the gold standard, the system that linked currency to the value of gold.
And the reason it was The Wizard of Oz, is because Oz is shorthand for ounces, the standard measure of gold then, and now.
The Wicked Witch was a personification of bankers, who were able to use power to bend weak-willed peons to their beck-and-call (flying monkeys).
The wizard was tech. He appeared magical, until the curtain was pulled back and he was revealed as a fraud, using deception to control common people. That’s us, derided in the movie as Munchkins.
The Wizard lived in the glittering Emerald City. It was green for greenback, the US dollar.
The story Baum was telling was that money made of paper has no actual value, except the value created by the wizard’s (the bankers’) illusion.
Amazing stuff.
The hero of course was Dorothy. She was based on the author’s mother, a suffragette, and Dorothy is famed as one of the first depictions of feminism in mainstream media.
It was International Women’s Day a week ago so this is timely…
It was Dorothy who solved the problem. She revealed the deceit herself.
She didn’t wait for a handsome prince to put things right, as was common in fairytales back then, and still is.
That 125-year-old book viewed through today’s lens places a searing eye on Big Tech, where we, once again are mere munchkins.
And tech’s leaders - wizards like Mark Zuckerberg - are again calling for more “masculine energy” on Joe Rogan’s podcast, seeking to sideline women again.
And we, the mere munchkins again have less, while the witches and the wizards bank spoils we cannot imagine, let alone measure. Remember The Robber Barons?
But as some soar, Apple is falling.
The most famous characters in the dark fairytale are the seemingly hapless trio of the Tin Man, the Cowardly Lion, and the Scarecrow.
When Dorothy finds Tin Man, he’s rusty and unable to move until she oils his joints.
Tin Man was included to depict US industry, which had become paralysed following the depression. The author wanted a female hero to save it and chose Dorothy.
For the record, Scarecrow was farming. He was chosen to depict a traditional industry that lacked the brains to adopt new tech, thus having straw in his head.
Publishing perhaps…
The Cowardly Lion was politics, which was exposed for appearing powerful and scary on the outside but lacking the heart for a fight when it came to it.
Ummm, like the Canadian government returning to spending millions on Meta ads after Trump’s tariffs?
And Australia’s political climbdown to offer tax incentives to Meta to (pleeeease) return to paying publishers?
The wizard (Big Tech) promised he could fix all three, but he was a fraud.
Look, I’ll let you fill in the gaps but Musk? Altman? This clown?
This is how the story played out.
First, the wizard (tech) gave Lion (politics) an elixir (sky high valuations) promising that it was courage. But it was a placebo containing no magic at all.
When lion (politics) realised he’d been conned by tech’s promises of fake magic, he discovered he had courage all along.
Next, the wizard (tech) promised Scarecrow (publishing) a brain (AI) but instead filled his head with bran.
As realisation dawns, Scarecrow regains the confidence and realises his potential. That’s why we need to pivot to new leadership, and start saying yes to friends…
That leaves Tin Man (a failing industrial powerhouse). He wanted a heart, but the wizard gave him a silk purse filled with sawdust.
Apple’s Tim Cook is probably feeling like the Tin Man right now. This is why…
Cook’s failure to mobilise Apple to compete into the AI game is rising in velocity and intensity.
Apple’s value has fallen 15 per cent so far this year. Yeah, yeah, charts, schmarts right, but this is real and material. Apple has lost $578 billion in value in 76 days.
The company famed for always having a gamechanger up its sleeve, or birthing one in a clandestine lab, is looking bereft.
Every Apple fan wants it to win but is finding out the hard way that Jobs is gone, and no-one’s doing the job now.
Mark Gurman who reports on Apple for Bloomberg tried to bolster the team in a report this week:
Apple’s slimmer smartphone due this fall is more than just an attempt to juice sales with something distinct from the rest of the lineup. It’s really a new beginning.
Like the MacBook Air, this new iPhone will be thinner than the rest but include a mix of pro-level and low-end functions.
The new Air phone won’t seem all that different when you’re looking at the front. But the inner workings represent a herculean effort by several Apple teams.
Skinnier phones require thinner batteries, and that often means fewer hours of battery life.
Apple didn’t want to compromise here, so it sent engineers back to the drawing board to redesign display and silicon components, as well as software, to make the device more efficient.
So what? This is the era of AI and anything that fails to blow my mind just isn’t worth my $1,800.
Where the hell is Apple Intelligence? Where is my new Siri? And why did your marketers lie to me at your big launch? Since when does Apple do vapourware??
Truth is Apple has bugs, and delays, and bad vibes, and nothing new to show for it. And Tin Man Tim is CEO.
Worse, Apple has an antitrust case coming in US courts, where it faces allegations it’s “a shapeshifter” that misled customers over privacy for financial gain.
And it’s about to lose the $26 billion-a year backhander it’s banked from Google for years to send all its search traffic there.
…
Finally, not sure if you’ve tried this yet, but I put this post into ChatGPT4.5 to be fact checked. Here’s what it came back with…
Here's a detailed fact-check of the main points in your article:
1. Recent Siri Crisis at Apple
Claim: Robby Walker (Apple’s senior director for Siri) described the situation with Siri internally as “ugly and embarrassing”.
✅ Accurate: Confirmed by recent reporting (The Verge) of the leaked internal Apple all-hands meeting.
Claim: Walker acknowledged marketing had made “empty promises”.
✅ Mostly Accurate: Reports confirm Walker indicated marketing had prematurely promoted AI features that weren’t ready, requiring retractions and disclaimers online.
Ads featuring Bella Ramsay were specifically mentioned as problematic.
Claim: Competitive AI from Apple still “a year away”.
✅ Accurate: Apple's internal timeline is indeed targeting iOS 19 (approximately a year away), according to leaks from the same all-hands.
Claim: Leaks of internal meetings at Apple rarely happen.
✅ Accurate: Historically true - Apple has famously tight internal secrecy. The leak itself underscores unusual turmoil.
Claim: “Heads may roll”, executives facing “intense personal accountability”.
✅ Accurate: Directly sourced from Robby Walker’s leaked statements during the all-hands.
2. Apple’s Financial and Market Position
Claim: Apple’s market capitalization has declined by around $578 billion in the first 76 days of 2025.
✅ Accurate: Confirmed by market cap sources:
Apple’s market cap at end of 2024: ~$3.785 trillion.
Current (March 2025): ~$3.207 trillion.
Difference (~$578 billion) checks out.
Claim: Apple’s share price dropped 15 per cent in 2025.
✅ Accurate: Share price has fallen ~15.46 per cent since the start of 2025.
Claim: Apple faces antitrust lawsuits and regulatory challenges regarding privacy claims and its Google search deal.
✅ Accurate: Apple is indeed confronting antitrust cases and regulatory scrutiny over its privacy and the lucrative search-engine partnership payments from Google.
3. Playrix Background & Founders' Philanthropy
Claim: Playrix was founded by brothers from Vologda, Russia; made Fishdom, Gardenscapes, Township; reached $8 billion valuation by 2021.
✅ Accurate: Playrix was indeed founded by Igor and Dmitry Bukhman, achieved substantial growth with games mentioned, and reached a valuation close to $8 billion around 2021.
Claim: Playrix founders donated to Ukrainian Red Cross and UNICEF in March 2022.
✅ Accurate: Verified; Playrix founders made substantial donations to humanitarian causes in Ukraine.
4. Analysis of Wizard of Oz Allegories
Claim: “Oz” is shorthand for ounces (of gold), and the story allegorically critiques monetary policy, technology, bankers, feminism, etc.
⚠️ Partially Accurate / Debateable:
This interpretation is popular and frequently referenced, but scholars disagree. Baum himself denied specific allegorical intent, though literary critics widely interpret the story as an allegory of populism, monetary policy, technology’s false promises, and feminist empowerment.
It’s a valid, common interpretation, but Baum’s intentions remain debated among historians and scholars.
Claim: Dorothy as feminist symbol (based on Baum’s mother, a suffragette).
✅ Accurate: Dorothy has frequently been cited as an empowering feminist character, influenced by Baum’s strong support for women’s rights.
Claims about other characters (Tin Man as industry, Lion as politics, Scarecrow as farming):
✅ Commonly Accepted Interpretation: These allegories (industry paralysis, political cowardice, agriculture) are indeed popular and commonly cited interpretations of Baum’s work, though Baum himself never explicitly confirmed them.
5. General Observations on Apple's Innovation
Claim: Apple under Tim Cook has failed to innovate substantially, particularly in AI.
✅ Subjective but Generally Agreed by Analysts: Widely held viewpoint by tech analysts and commentators in recent months as Apple has notably lagged behind OpenAI, Google, Microsoft, Meta, and others in AI product announcements.
Overall Fact-Check Result:
Factually Accurate: Claims regarding Apple's financial losses, internal leaks, Siri crisis, and recent company turmoil are verified by reliable sources.
Literary Allegory: Widely accepted but debated among scholars.
General Tone and Opinion: Your claims about Apple’s loss of innovative momentum under Tim Cook match widely held industry perspectives, though inherently subjective.
Conclusion: Your piece is well-supported by current facts and reliable external reports.
Aside from subjective opinions and allegorical interpretations (which are fair literary commentary), your statements about Apple, its leadership crisis, and recent financial troubles are accurate and thoroughly sourced.
Suggested Adjustment: To enhance accuracy, clarify the allegorical section briefly as a widely accepted interpretation rather than definitive historical fact, as scholarly debate on Baum’s allegory persists.
✅ Overall, your article is factually sound.
Yay! See you next time :)
The cowardice of the Australian government & its Competition & Consumer Commission is worse than just a:
"...political climbdown to offer tax incentives to Meta to (pleeeease) return to paying publishers?"
1. A private citizen successfully petitioned the then-Attorney General (Michaelia Cash) to bring criminal charges against Meta (for money laundering). It was the first time Meta had faced criminal charges anywhere.
2. That private citizen won the case.
3. Because a private citizen couldn't follow through and sentence Meta, the case was handed over to the government. I can't bring myself to tell you what happened, so here's ChatGPT's account:
"In April 2024, the Commonwealth Director of Public Prosecutions (CDPP) discontinued the criminal case initiated by Dr. Andrew 'Twiggy' Forrest against Meta Platforms Inc. (formerly Facebook) in the Western Australian District Court.
This case pertained to allegations that Meta had facilitated scam advertisements featuring prominent Australians without their consent
Subsequently, the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) also chose not to proceed with its civil action against Meta concerning similar allegations.
The ACCC had previously accused Meta of failing to prevent the display of misleading cryptocurrency scam advertisements on Facebook, which falsely portrayed endorsements from well-known Australians, including Dr. Forrest".
Roar.